My grandparents had a good old-fashioned bidet in their bathroom. It was an egg-shaped ceramic bowl with a shiny gold drain plug and a sturdy bronze handle. I spent most of my childhood believing it was part bird bath, part toilet, and all I understood was that we were not allowed to use it. When I found out what it was, I was in shock. I was also disappointed to discover that I couldn’t put on floaties and play in it.
After my grandparents died, we sold their house, and I didn’t see or hear of another bidet for 10 years (as we know, bidets, while common in Europe and Asia, have yet to catch on here). Then, a family friend installed one in his family’s house and spent the next month singing its praises: “The bidet is amazing, it has changed my life, it is the best thing, you need to get a bidet, trust me.” He rationalized it to me thusly, “Think of it this way. You step in mud. What’s the best way to clean it off: rubbing it with a dry tissue, or rinsing it with water?” He had a good point.
Inspired by our family friend, my brother asked my parents for a bidet attachment for his sixteenth birthday. And he got it—a big, clunky-looking white toilet seat with a large buttoned panel jutting from its side and a wire hooked up to the wall. I put off using it for a long time, but once I tried it, I couldn’t disagree. The thought of a pressurized stream of water blasting into that region can be intimidating, sure. I am a jumpy person—I do not like being splashed by anything, even in a pool. But let me tell you, it actually feels good! It’s rather cleansing, certainly feels like it does a better job than toilet paper, and is much better for the environment and for your plumbing than “flushable” wipes are. (PSA: Do not flush your wipes down the toilet!)
As fate would have it, bidets only followed me further. After writing a story about some bathroom troubles, my inbox became flooded with emails from bidet companies, asking if I might want to try their latest product. “I thought this would be of interest to you,” each one said. “We would love to send one over.”
That’s how I came to own the Tushy Classic. At $109, it’s a relatively affordable, no-frills option that’s taken hold with millennials for its sleek branding. The Classic model is relatively simple to install with a screwdriver and has only one setting for adjusting the pressure and angle. A starter bidet, if you will. Most bidets, like my brother’s, have more features—sure—but easy on the eye? Absolutely not. Minimal? No sirree. The Tushy is less of an eyesore; it’s attractive even. Every guest who uses the bathroom either asks me, “What is that thing?” or remarks on how nice it is. And by now, it’s something I’ve chosen to be proud of rather than mortified by.
With toilet paper shortages becoming more common during the pandemic, it seems like other people are catching on. Tushy’s sales increased tenfold, and the brand was having trouble keeping inventory in stock. As somewhat of an early adopter (we’ve had the Tushy for nine months now), I can say that owning one makes a huge difference. It cuts down on toilet paper usage (I’ve had a neurotic history of going through a full roll per bowel movement, I kid you not, since childhood) and trips to the store, which was helpful even before the pandemic. Best of all, I never feel like I’m sacrificing cleanliness. In that realm, there is only stuff to gain.
As far as my significant other goes, he couldn’t agree more. When we finally ran out of toilet paper, he said, “I don’t understand why you need toilet paper anyway. We have a bidet.” In fact, when we began self-quarantining in early March 2020, he looked at me one morning and said, completely deadpan, “The upside in all this is that I get to use the bidet more.”
What can I say? The Tushy is a dependable, worthwhile purchase that will hopefully carry you from these uncertain times into more much pleasant ones. I never thought I would write a sentence like that, but hey—the world is in flames, the Tushy is in stock (and conveniently on sale), and I couldn’t recommend it more.
Tushy Classic Bidet
This no-frills bidet is more minimal than other pricey clunkers, and has options to adjust the pressure and angle.
And if you’re looking for a slightly more premium experience, the Tushy Spa is also on sale. It allows you to adjust the temperature of the water and the pressure.