Holly Madison Admits She Wanted To ‘Drown’ Herself While Living At The Playboy Mansion

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Holly Madison is brutally comely about her time with Hugh Hefner on the Playboy Mansion. Within the ‘Secrets and methods of Playboy’ docuseries, Holly unearths that she wished to ‘drown’ herself at one level.

Holly Madison doesn’t mince words about her skills on the Playboy Mansion throughout the Secrets and methods of Playboy docuseries, which premieres January 24 on A&E. Whereas she used to be Hugh Hefner’s main lady friend, Holly unearths that things obtained so intense within the house with the diversified girls folks that she thought about drowning herself.

Holly Madison when she used to be a Playboy Bunny. (Splashnews)

“I defend into yarn there used to be a closing date a pair of years in. After we had long gone out and after we had all been within the mattress room. All individuals’s leaving and walking out, and I was within the bath. And I merely wished to drown myself. I merely felt love I was on this cycle of misery,” Holly says.

She adds, “And, , these emotions would never closing long, nonetheless it’s probably you’ll maybe perchance perchance maybe even get these moments, love what did I build from this skills? I knew there would be something. I continually had that religion that there would be something that would construct it price it.”

The gentle Girls Next Door wide title admits that the “drama” between her and the diversified girls folks within the house obtained “so immoral.” She explains, “Fancy, imagine having sex with anyone in a room fleshy of women folks who all abominate you, and they’re talking sh*t about you.”

The mummy-of-two additionally goes into element about her first sexual skills on the Playboy Mansion. “There used to be positively no, love, romance or seduction or something love that,” Holly unearths. “It used to be darkish within the room, nonetheless there used to be a huge movie display conceal conceal of porn in front of the mattress. He [Hefner] used to be within the heart of the mattress, after which the ladies folks had been surrounding him nonetheless they’re all backlit.”

Holly says that she never had “informal sex” earlier than with any individual. “I if truth be told feel love I was extra or less if truth be told asexual, so maybe I merely wasn’t ready for that,” she continues. “It used to be all very mechanical and robotic and also you’d extra or less apply the diversified girls folks’s lead, and it used to be if truth be told spoiled to me how Hef didn’t desire to sigh safety. The impact it had on me used to be so heavy.”

Holly Madison and Hugh Hefner in 2010. (Shutterstock)

Holly and Hugh split in 2008, and he or she left the Playboy Mansion soon after. She first opened up about her Playboy skills in her memoir Down the Rabbit Hole: Spellbinding Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Worn Playboy Bunny. Secrets and methods of Playboy will air Mondays on A&E.

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